Tuesday 11 June 2013

Children run 5.5km to support cancer

On Friday the 17th kids for Mokoia intermediate ran a heart stopping run through rough terrain to support kids with cancer it was a gruelling run but they ran at a steady pace and got through it and the winners in the year groups were in year 8 boys was Flynn Baxter and in the year 8 girls was Maddie whiting. 
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3 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:32 pm, June 11, 2013

    Nice I like how you have the results and descriptive language it was heart stopping I must add. Who out of the year 7's came what? from Thomas

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  2. Anonymous12:33 pm, June 11, 2013

    Nice writing there! I must admit that you have descriptive words in the story. For example: Heart stopping. Using those words make the story more interesting. I liked a how you added the results. Who won in the year 7 boys and girls? Keenan

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  3. Unknown5:38 pm, June 15, 2013

    I also like the use of "heart stopping." farm runs are usually grueling; I used to run them a lot when I was a harrier in my twenties. How could you improve your sentence structure? This is written as one long sentence.

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